#5 Kimmy, Alyson Greaves
before i start talking about the novel i have to thank thetransfemininereview for the glowing recommendation which made me realize this book is right up my alley and drop everything to go read it. theres a certain intimacy in the way bethany writes about the books shes read that touches on what a book is about and how it feels and makes it instantly clear whether its something youd be interested in or not. i urge everyone with even a passing interest in transfeminine, trans or gender-exploring fiction to take a look at her blog and im sure theyll find something worth reading.
anyway... kimmy... for a book about being literally absorbed into the body and mind of a dead female android this story is somehow less of a horror of becoming someone you dont recognize, and more of a horror of becoming someone others dont recognize. the consistent ease with which humans are capable of accepting that they arent alive despite all their senses demanding otherwise, the way violence towards the androids is both public as a way for people to prove their machismo and belonging to the in-group that can dehumanize others without thinking, and private, as a way to satisfy the most shameful urges by using something that is both human enough to count and not human enough to matter. that creates a greater feeling of terror than following the protagonist as his body is slowly crushed, his breathing becomes labored, he forgets to eat and drink and the 'correct' name and personal pronoun.
its no wonder that almost all the androids in this story are women. but still, the communities they manage to create and live in online feel like such a clear parallel to beloved real world cliques that trans people create that its immediately clear that even though it has never been their woman-ness that was put under questioning, only their humanity, they have more in common with trans women than cis. its never outright said or pointed out, but it rings true. the way the kimmies talk to eachother is such a direct portrayal of a second life hang out session or something, i cant help but feel an instinctual fondness for them and the way they inhabit the world they live in.
kimmy is a story that is built on its characters. they are placed in this world that feels so close to ours, the cards are set on the table, and everything simply follows to its natural conclusion. at no point does it feel shocking or unexpected, but exactly that is its strong point. its a story that you could run into in mainstream publishing except like 70% into the book they manage to extract the guy out of the scary robot body and he and his wife go on some sort of quest to save the 3 robots he got buddy buddy with and then the book ends, the characters feeling less guilty about their privilege and the horror of the world because they did their best or whatever. and you, the beautiful reader, are malding and thinking about dropping the book in its eleventh hour the entire time. well, me, the beautiful reader. but it doesnt do that! i get the book i actually want to read instead!
despite the fact its 'a book i want to read' it very much is uncomfortable and terrifying at times. because it understands that what its characters and readers desire is acceptance and humanization, it shows exactly the most realistic ways that those things can be taken away from them. theyre very plain, understandable, everyday cruelties that crescendo into a very plain, understandable hell on earth. its exactly because the cast isnt supernaturally evil that their human cruelties hurt even more.
um, i do have to mention that sexual assault and incest play a significant role in the story so do watch out for that if you want to read it. its pretty all-present but not graphic but unfortunately a lot of people felt like it wasnt warned for adequately. i do think its a book that knows how to make its reader uncomfortable but also reward it with catharsis in the end. i really do recommend it. i should read more of alysons work so please look forward to seeing how i feel about this book in context after i read more from the same author.